Way #27. Survivor versus Victim and Gluten-Relapse: Ending Blame can help One Attain Gluten-Free Simplicity
Posted by nepeht on December 8, 2008
27. Survivor versus Victim and Gluten-Relapse: Ending Blame can help One Attain Gluten-Free Simplicity.
The Blame Game is, “accusations exchanged among people who refuse to accept sole responsibility for some undesirable event”, according to the Free Dictionary by Farlex. Playing the Blame Game is generally discouraged as it tends to cause more problems than it solves.
According to ChangingMinds.org, “This game is driven by our need to explain and effects such as the Self-Serving Bias. Attribution Theory generally explains much of how and why we like to blame.”
OK, so what does this have to do with Gluten-Sensitivity or Celiac Disease? Good question.
For the most part, bringing the Blame Game to the fore is intended to encourage personal responsibility around issues related to Gluten Relapse. So NO!!! this is not about either Blaming someone or accepting 100% responsibility for the fact that one has either a Gluten-Sensitivity or Celiac Disease. The evidence about genetic properties of same as well as documentation of their hereditary natures has convinced me that no person gets either problem due to anything they have done other than being born. And I don’t think that this is their fault. So no blame there…. right?
This is about me (and/or any of us) finding excuses for the reasons why we relapse with Gluten.
Probably, the most acceptable blame for a relapse — other than blaming ones self — would be when one relapses by consuming something that contains a hidden and undisclosed form of gluten. Enough said. If one does not know and is not informed about gluten content, then one consumes at their. So it is shared responsibility right.
The producer or provider could possibly have given notice of Gluten content AND the consumer could possibly have refused to consume the product without some sort of prior knowledge about Gluten content.
But what about those days when I have relapsed and I already had a good idea that the object of my relapse contained gluten? Who is responsible then? Well I guess I am. And then there are other days where I am just angry and feeling more like a victim than a survivor. On these days, the blame game can get dangerous. My hostility can lead to a blindness about my responsibility and then onto a relapse or binge where just like with other forms of violence, someone gets hurt. And that is typically me.
Sure, people with Celiac Disease and Gluten-Sensitivity are “victims” in the strictest sense of the word in that they did not ask for these medical problems nor did they do anything to deserve them. But then the question is, “where does one go from there?”
One can be a career “victim” and passively more on with very little productive energy. The victim can take but so much pain, then she or he might become hostile or agressive and very difficult to be around.
Or one can be a “survivor” with an active sense of productive energy. One can more along assertively and recognize those positive rewards as they materialize. And these people are probably more easy to get along with.
There are lots of resources on the internet about Victimhood-versus-Surviorship. There are blogs and many others. One source speaks of the idea of resiliance and the ability to adapt to and overcome challenges. One blogger recently discussed the links between Celiac Disease, Gluten and Depression. And which sort would “Depression” be most related to… the “Victim” or the “Survivor”? Or would it be related to both, but either would deal with it differently??? Yes.. perhaps.
In looking over various internet postings concerning victims, survivors and relapse, I was unable to find one that was specifically addressing the issue of Gluten-Relapse. The principles of the post however, are the same.
The principle proposition that I am making is that if one feels more like a victim than they are more likely to relapse with Gluten (or anything) than if they are primarily in the survivor mode.
What do you think?